The film I created is about feeling unsure about who I am as an artist. For all of my life, art has been. All my life art to me was about technical ability and aesthetics. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve felt that my work feels empty and boring. This film takes place in a barn, with the person in the film wanting to leave the barn through the door. I made the door lead outside, having the light shine through the cracks of the door. Leaving the barn to me would be to leave my small town and find who I am. Maybe reaching some kind of “enlightenment” I guess. Moving to Minneapolis felt like finally beginning a new part of my life, like finally leaving the barn. But in this film, knowing I was moving away soon, I felt so close to this new beginning. But I wasn’t there yet, causing the barn door I finally reached to be locked. I guess I just couldn’t wait.
My dream is to be a professional artist, but I don't want to be someone who works to create someone else's art. I want to tell my story and tell stories I feel are interesting. I feel with my focus on the aesthetic side art, it feels like something you look at on Instagram for 3 seconds and forget about in 10 minutes, which I just feel isn't fulfilling.
I shot my film with my DSLR camera, and edited it in Davinci Resolve. I also added a small amount of 2D animation because I enjoy doing many different mediums. Each shot of the film has a bit of a different look from the last so I feel the film doesn’t have a consistent look, but that was more intentional representing how more recently I’ve been doing so many different things, experimenting with what I like, as well as the fact that I’m not sure what I like, or who I am as an artist. I also created the music for the film kind of out of necessity. The music I originally wanted to use just didn’t work with my film so I decided to make it myself.